Random Thoughs After Watching "Jack the Giant Slayer"

Random thoughts after watching “Jack the Giant Slayer” (this is not a review, just random notes)

(1) Nicholas Hoult is all grown up. Does anyone remember that weird and lonely boy from “About a Boy”? I do. That’s one of my favorite movies. But he’s no longer weird and lonely; instead he’s the handsome and charming hero now. What 11 years can do to a boy.

(2) It seems like every year there’s a fairy tale being resurrected and having a good year. Last year it was Snow White with two movies and one TV series (Once Upon a Time). This year it’s Jack, the Giants & the beanstalk (Once Upon a Time recently had episodes involving Giant and beanstalk). Next year? It’s Sleeping Beauty and Maleficent (I suspect Once Upon a Time will again be the TV series to participate).

(3) I’m surprised the bean pun didn’t run through the whole movie, and I can only remember two (he won’t spill the bean & you’re barking at the wrong beanstalk). Come on, you make such a silly movie and you can’t find ways to insert “bean there, done that” or “it’s the giants versus human beans” into the movie?

(4) I pick the same day to watch this movie and “Beautiful Creatures” back-to-back, and now realize they’re actually not much different: it’s the story of two young lovers who could not be together because of their different background. Just that this one has better looking leads.

(5) Speaking of better looking, the highly promoted performance-capture and special effects, well it doesn’t strike me as real at all. The CG effects including the giants look cheap and fake. Nothing’s beautiful. In fact, the only beautiful thing in this movie is the two lead actor and actress.

(6) And the best acting goes to… no one! I understand this is the kind of movie that requires no acting at all, but Ewan McGregor? Shame on you. Stanley Tucci? Too bad. Ian McShane? You’ve been in better movie before. Okay okay, I’m being unreasonable; but to think these actors cashing in loads of money but being so lazy in their performance makes me mad.

(7) The final battle, isn’t it a little too short and too rush? Suddenly the giants surrendered before even attacking the king and his armies. Jack killing the two-headed giant? It happened in 2 seconds. Give us more actions if you cannot give us good visual or good acting.

(8) Why did they kill off the funny characters early? Elmont’s assistant & Roderick’s assistant are both funny. Should keep them longer to deliver more one-liner jokes.

(9) Whatever happened to Jack’s uncle? Maybe this is not important and I’m too obsessed with details. But we never did see him hanging around when the king and his armies camped under the beanstalk, a.k.a. the place where his old house used to be.

(10) Final verdict: 2.5 stars out of 5. Watch it for some good laughs (yes it is so silly you will be laughing at some scenes that are not meant to be funny). If you are looking for some epic fairy tale film, this is not it.