My dear
Bagginses and Boffins, Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and
Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses
and Proudfoots,
I'm
sorry you knock on my door and no one answers. Last night, a grey wizard and
twelve dwarves visited my lovely cottage, and soon after they conveniently
finished all the foods I stored in preparation for the winter and made a mess
out of my lovely home they invited me on a journey to the Lonely Mountain with
them. After thoroughly considering my options, I have decided to join them. We
depart today, and the journey is expected to take a whole four sunsets to
complete. You can expect my arrival back at the Shire upon the fifth sunrise.
Until then, please imagine me venturing through Misty Mountains and Mirkwood.
There will be no dove or messenger able to reach the traveling party but
occasionally Gandalf (the aforementioned Grey Wizard, a.k.a. aaa@xyz.com)
will be able to transmit your message telepathically. Do expect a delay in my
response.
Alternately,
you can go to my dear friends Frodo Baggins (bbb@xyz.com)
or Samwise Gamgee (ccc@xyz.com).
They are more than willing to help you with your problems.
Yours
truly,
Bilbo
Baggins
P/S:
Stay away from my garden
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