Everyone has a Facebook account. Some have two. The friend
list on my Facebook account is longer than my phonebook which represents the
actual friends I have and talk to in real life. I interact with my second
cousin more often in Facebook than in real life (in fact, I have only met him
twice in real life). Some check in once a week but most, like yours truly,
every day.
You see, Facebook has been such a prominent presence in our
life that I bet few of you can remember what did you do prior to its era. What
did you do standing in the train on your way to work, what did you do waiting
for your food in the restaurant, and what did you do lying in your bed at night.
True, Twitter and Instagram are popular too, but admittedly they have their
limitations that make them not as obsessive as Facebook, or at least not in the
same way as Facebook. Most of us have the Facebook app on our mobile. We scroll
through our newsfeed reading all the status updates and news our friends share.
You know something goes viral when you see more than one friends put it on
their wall, which brings me to my point…
Do you notice less and less people actually write their own
status update nowadays, with the emphasis on the word write. Half of the people post pictures (half of this half
are selfies/wefies, another half being your vacation/traveling/food photos),
the second half of the people share posts, articles, news, or
whatever-others-are-posting. Of course I share others’ posts occasionally too
in addition to my own status updates, but what I mean here is that some people
seem to have their Facebook account swamped 100% with posts shared from other
sources. I enjoy reading posts shared by my friends, because frankly speaking I
would not be able to read all the news in the world and learn all the new
knowledges by my own, in my limited world. Through different posts from
different sources shared by friends I have learned a great deal, so I should
say upfront I have nothing against sharing posts. But to share blindly and
directly without having a piece of their mind on it, that’s another story. Many
just share the posts without adding some words of their own. Okay, that’s not
true, sometimes they do, in the form of friends’ names that they tag. Just
names.
And since I am a self-proclaimed Facebook addict, there is
no escape for me from these posts my friends share. When you scroll your mobile
often enough, you’ll find some common behaviors or similarities between these
friends and the posts they share. One person usually exhibits only one or two
(at most three, I dare say) of these types, and if you scroll through his/her
wall you’ll most probably find that most of the posts on that wall belong to
one of the below categories. Now, if you have already felt offended by what I’d
written so far, chances are, you are one of these people I’m talking about. Even
if I say I don’t mean to offend anyone you wouldn’t believe it anyway. People
are so easily offended nowadays they are offended by a cat crossing the road.
Just stop reading. Please. I beg you.
The rest of you, are you ready? The 10 types of
posts-sharing friends on Facebook:
(1)
The Condemning Government Type: They like and
follow every Facebook page that angrily condemns the government, and they share
every post that comes out from these pages onto their wall. Some of these pages
have very unnerving names that challenge your identity and imply as if you are
a traitor if you do not like and follow them, e.g. "If You Are a Chinese,
Come In" or "You Are Not Malaysian If You Don’t Share This".
They blindly share everything without adding their own comments so it appears
they just scan the original article (some don’t even bother to click and read
the contents, they just read the headlines and share) and click share right
away without thinking deep whether the article makes sense. It makes the
overall “chi” very negative. Lots of these news are written as some sort of
political propaganda, some make sense and open up your eyes to a brand new
world, some don’t. Some of these news are not even real, they are laughably
childish that one might think the admin of these pages wrote them as a joke, but
guess what, it leads us to…
(2)
The Genuinely Believing in Laughably Fake News
Type: These friends share a lot of "shocking" news without verifying the
authenticity of the news, like "Government to ban Facebook starting next
Tuesday" or "Rowan Atkinson passed away last night". If you scan
through the posts by these friends, you'll realize at least half of them are
not true. Thing is, they do not share it as a joke but instead they genuinely
believe in the news and want to be the first to break it to their friends by
putting it onto their wall. Some will add “R.I.P.” though unfortunately (or
fortunately???) the object of their mourning is still alive and kicking.
(3)
The Everything Causes Cancer Type: They frequently
share articles that denounce every possible food you can find on earth to be
the cause of cancer. These articles usually have titles that are so eyeball-inducing
like "Stop Eating This or You Will Die in 5 Years" or "Please
Tell Your Friends No More Eating This". By the logic of these articles
combined, even drinking plain water alone will cause cancer. It appears we
would not die of cancer anyway, but instead of hunger. A sub-group of similar
type is the "Eat this and you will live longer" type, which tells you
to eat this and that to prolong your life. I bet if you read enough of these
articles you’ll eventually come across two different articles mentioning the
same food, one says it causes cancer while another says it gives you another 20
years to live. Which would you believe then?
(4)
The Uniquely Weird and Funny Video Type: Have
you heard of Motoki Maxted before? No, you have, you really have. You just
don’t remember his name. You have seen his videos before. He is that dude who was
riding with his mother while singing and behaving annoyingly to several of the
pop songs. We were supposed to laugh at his childish behavior while feeling bad
for his mom for having to be part of her son’s plan to become an internet
sensation. But apparently it works. He is some sort of internet celebrity with
more than 2 million Facebook followers, and one or a few of these 2 million
happens to be your friends. But Motoki Maxted is not alone. A lot of
celebrities who only exist in social media share videos that have got nothing
to do with their profession, but rather quite random and often funny videos
which are then reposted by your friends to their wall. And then there are these
friends who are so resourceful they like, follow and share videos from so many
different Facebook pages, some of them even named in some foreign languages we
don't use here in our country. It doesn’t matter though, these videos are
usually so weird and funny it only brings you joy.
(5)
The 9Gag Type: Yes, simple and straight forward.
They just share every 9Gag picture.
(6)
The Do Good to Society Type: They always share
posts that report missing person. I don’t deny it is good to help, but perhaps
sometimes pay attention to the details and do some research too? Don't share
some missing person report from half year ago that was widely reported that the
person had been found. Also in this category is those who like to play judge
and share posts that report some "unfair" situation or some alleged
"douche" doing some "bad" stuff. Thing is, most of these
posts are one-sided and those who share were not even physically there at the
scene when it happened. Sometimes the content is pretty straight forward, like
the one post showing an irresponsible driver throwing garbage out of the car
onto the road. Yes, serve the douche right. But other times the truth might not
be as how they were presented. The truth might not be shown or purposely hidden
by the original poster. Remember, sometimes you are not helping, you are
actually hurting people by sharing these posts. You are not there, you don’t
know the whole truth. Sometimes those who claim they were being bullied are
actually the real bully. They just turn the whole story to their benefit. Be
careful in choosing which to share.
(7)
The Top 10 Food Type: It’s relatively new, but
suddenly everyone is sharing various lists of top 10 food in xxx area. Now, if you tell me you have
compiled a list of top 10 food in the whole Klang Valley or the whole Penang
Island, I would say “great, let’s get on a food trip”. But most of the time, these
are “top 10 food in xxx Suburb” or
“top 10 food in xxx Street”. Really?
On a street no more than 5 kilometers and probably has only 15 food
stalls/restaurants/eateries you manage to find 10 food that taste so good and
worth making a list? Believe me, I have seen the “Top 10 Food in Taman OUG”
(where I stay) and half of the food making the list are mediocre.
(8)
The Inspirational Quotes / Stories Type: It’s
refreshing to read inspirational quotes with beautiful background pictures once
in a while. We all need the positive “chi” and motivation especially in the era
when things that evoke anger (and stupid politicians) are all around us. Do you
dare say seeing “I Can and I Will” written on the picture of a beautiful sunset
does not melt your heart and brighten your day? But sometimes when a friend
shares such quotes so prominently you start to wonder is he/she the
reincarnation of Pollyana? For these people, 75% of their wall are made up of
such quotes you know nothing else about them except that they constantly need
the uplift these quotes bring to them. What’s even worse than quotes are those
supposedly motivating stories that teach you life lessons. I don’t mind reading
stories. In fact, I love stories. But when the stories are so badly written
they remind you of the secondary school Pendidikan Moral textbook, I roll my
eyes. Perhaps these friends secretly enjoy Pendidikan Moral in school?
(9)
The My Zodiac Sign is Number One Type: There’s
nothing that makes me feel old more than this one. The reason? Because most of
them falling into this category are very young people. They’ll share things
like “Top 5 Zodiac Signs That Make a Good Boyfriend” or “Top 3 Zodiac Signs of
Smartest People”, and 99% of the time their Zodiac sign is #1 on the list, and
the other 1% of the time they will tag another friend whose Zodiac sign is #1.
Truth is, most of these people do not actually believe in what they share, they
just do it for fun. I get it, stop being so serious, it’s just a post, stop
over-analyzing. But when your Zodiac sign is not on the list of say, the
smartest people, you’ll go “What? Of all the people in the universe born in
this one month period every year, none of them is smart?”
(10)The Parenting Tips Type:
Correction: There’s actually another type that makes me feel even older. When
most of your friends from high school have reached the phase of sharing useful
parenting tips from various websites on their wall, you know you are old.
But wait, there’s more!
One last type of really annoying sharing: The “Share this
and you’ll be rich in two weeks” type. Really? I share a picture of a really
big and rare turtle and it will rain cash on my front porch? But really, you
should try it, you might actually get a surprise in your bank account in one
month time. It is called salary.
I die.
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